I grew up on the east coast, although I lived on my own for a short time in both northern California and New York City. I credit going to a traditional church as a child with instilling the groundwork of biblical stories and a head knowledge of Jesus Christ, but it took until my early 20’s to realize that a relationship with Jesus was so much more, and I soon made Him Lord of my life, as well as Savior.
The moment I allowed Him control of my life, my priorities changed and new opportunities unfolded. I got involved in multiple bible studies, started playing bass and singing in various church praise bands, and putting my heart and time into serving others. Within twelve months, I was actively working in youth ministry, worship evangelism, and homeless outreach, and was daily renewing my strength and joy in Him.
I love the relationship aspect of being with God. I have a great passion for Him, and a deep compassion and sensitivity for anyone who is hurting or suffering; as well as for those who don’t know Jesus as their own personal Lord and Savior. I also have a heart and longing to worship God, and like to go to places that don’t have the resources to have a music team, and share time and worship together.
After years of participating in and coordinating ministries of servanthood and help to the hurting, I began to notice something that shocked me-how hurtful and harmful those professing Christ could be to each other. I was working with many churches across denominational lines, and I believe this perspective helped me to see the sad truth that plagues many institutions today that call themselves godly. Judging others, competitiveness, gossip, and character assassination runs rampant in these places (and has to stop according to the teachings of Jesus). I saw more people wounded by ‘the church’ than anywhere else! I witnessed countless people leaving the church in pain and completely disillusioned with God -- devastated by legalistic and elitist cliques who don’t seem to understand that without love – everything is a clanging gong (I Corinthians 13).
I was in turmoil-here I am trying to pattern my life after Christ’s, share the gospel, and bring converts to churches to be discipled; and once they get there, these new or weak Christians are being assassinated and alienated for not doing ‘perfect’ and fitting the ‘image’ of the church. I became very disheartened, but I knew I had to personally strive to continue a ‘What Would Jesus Do’ attitude and to minister like Christ, despite what I was seeing.
A short time later, I entered a valley or ‘desert’ time in my own life. I became exiled and withdrawn from “doing” ministry, and only spending every moment “being” with Him – hanging out with my Father!! This period lasted a little over a year and followed the death of my mother from cancer. I also experienced a complete severance from all of my previous companions who abandoned me during this time -- without a word -- after years of ministering together. God was the only thing left in my life, and it’s by His grace I made it through these rough waters.
But God is ALWAYS faithful, and He restored me slowly. I found a new church family, and soon after much prayer, decided to participate in a YWAM (Youth With A Mission) discipleship training school (DTS) aboard the Mercy Ship Anastasis. (A DTS consists of 3 months of seminary-like teaching and then 2 months of outreach.) I had the chance to minister, and get blessed myself, in the poorest country in the world – Sierra Leone. The Lord really used our time there, and in the process was working on and rebuilding me, amidst some severe conditions of the country. I had prayers answered and a ‘mountaintop’ experience with God during the entire six months I was away.
I returned home with many new close friends, and with these deep bonds of friendship also came a renewed vision. Soon afterwards, after prayer and discussion – Trampled Rose Ministries and the Wobble Worship Team were formed and what adventures and joys it has been with Him and each other. I am excited to continue to walk the steps of my life with Him - day by day.